By Maya Handa Feb. 4, 2013 January 30, 1908 – Richard and Ida Orwell are pleased to announce the birth of their second child, April Orwell. April, weighing about as much as a…

By Dan Lastres May 15, 2017 Heartwarming! After this Campus tour guide fell off the roof of Logan, her entire tour group followed her anyways!You never know when tragedy is going to strike,…

By Ryan Fleishman Feb. 19, 2016 After searching through pirating websites desperately this Sunday for Kanye’s new album to download illegally through their chosen torrent client, critics agree that Kanye’s The Life of…

By Jacob Levin and Teddy Zamborsky Nov. 13, 2014 21% – Under siege by Society for Creative Anachronism 14% – Doors locked by invisible hand 16% – Dean Boyer bathing in tub of…

By Sam Nitkin Dec. 5, 2018 At 12:38 p.m. on Wednesday, November 27, first-year student Katherine Blake tweeted to her 891 followers, “I don’t live in a bubble!” from the interior of the…

By 18th Amendment, 1933 Feb. 5, 2017 P: 18th Ammendment: You’re Drunk Jesus Christ, 21st Amendment, you’re drunk. I told you that buying a handle of whiskey was a bad idea. How are…

By Ryan Fleishman Nov. 20, 2015 In an unexpected turn of events, the Major Activities Board has officially announced this Wednesday that Nirvana will not be able to perform at this year’s Summer…

By Drew Armstrong Feb. 22, 2014 With his most recent single, “Fallaish me Father 4 I have Sinned,” rapper 2Chainz gives missionary a whole new meaning. Tired of defaming women, the G.O.O.D. Music…

By Dirk Lazenby Sept. 24, 2018   Dear Shady Dealer, During some routine Facebook stalking I discovered that my soon-to-be-roommate is a podcast fanatic. I don’t want to be rude or close-minded, but…

By Nico Aldape Nov. 18, 2016 In a move made “in the interests of student physical well-being and health,” the Texas State Board of Education (SBOE) has announced it will phase in dowwn…