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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Things That UChicago Crushes

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Maya Handa and Becky Stoner April 23, 2013 Hopes Dreams Hearts Livers Everything on this list that is not also a sandwich Paninis The old USPS building Economic activity on 63rd Street…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Animal House Wins Best Picture

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Matthew Goldenberg Feb. 24, 2013 In an absolutely stunning surprise this evening, the 1978 film Animal House won the Oscar for Best Picture in 2013. Despite the fact that the movie was…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Editorial: It is a good idea for us to invade Afghanistan

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Various Feb. 4, 2013 It is a Good Idea for Us to Invade Afghanistan By Raymond Aloysius Chatterton III 1838 – Afghanistan will be the next step in the glorious expansion of…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Extremely doable New Year’s resolutions

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Maya Handa Dec. 17, 2012 We at The Dealer understand that life is hard, and making New Year’s Resolutions is often an exercise in failure. So why start the New Year on…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Cyclists on Quad: “We just can’t get off our bikes”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Chris Deakin Nov. 7, 2012 A survey of Hyde Park bicycle riders released Friday has found that the majority are unable to get off of their bikes once they have entered the…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Trace Amounts of Water Found in Chicago River

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Daniel Moattar Oct. 20, 2012 CHICAGO, I.L. — Researchers at Northwestern University’s Department of Planetary Sciences announced the discovery of water in the Chicago River, confirming results of two years of battery…

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Newer Posts 

Read It and Weep

  • Trump Vows War to Last No More than 6 Weeks/5 Minutes/17 Years
  • Get Your my.UChicago Data Off the Dark Web in Five Easy Steps
  • Twelve Ways to React When Someone Says Something You Disagree With in Class
  • Analyzing Melina Hale’s Welcome Video for Avant-Garde Sensibilities
  • It’s Springtime! Flowers to Sniff, Poke, and Potentially Buy
  • Duo Authentication Requires New Blood, Urine, and STD Test Sample to Verify Identity; Most People Fail
  • Maroon Wins Pulitzer Prize for “Courageous” Reporting on Reg Bathroom Closure
  • Odyssey Scholars Program replaced by David Rubenstein Sugar Baby Program
  • An Open Letter to My Professors: If Congress Can Take a Vacation When They Have Work to Do, Why Can’t I?
  • Point: Dining halls should strive to incorporate healthier cereals. Counterpoint: You can pry the Lucky Charms out of my cold, dead hands, bitch!

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