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Tensions Run High at House Council Meeting
By Timi Koyejo April 25, 2013 After a contentious motion was pushed through by a faction of the Booth House Council, tensions abounded this past Sunday, multiple sources reported. “I had always expected…
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Dean Boyer to challenge the Gods
By Mark Boykin Feb. 24, 2013 John W. Boyer, Dean of the College at The University of Chicago, has challenged every major and minor deity who exerts influence over natural phenomena to a…
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Area man way behind on his telegraph feed
By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 Having finally returned to the telegraph office after three days of ignoring it, area man George Brittlemeier is reportedly overwhelmed by the number of telegrams left to…
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Wyoming pushed out to sea to make room for Puerto Rico
By Hannah Gitlin Jan. 3, 2013 After more than 800,000 Puerto Rican voters voiced support for the island to become the 51st U.S. state, United States lawmakers have determined that as it stands,…
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Using Local Resources, Peer Health Exchange Begins Educational Programs for UChicago Students
By Jeremy Wilson Nov. 10, 2012 Peer Health Exchange (PHE) recently expanded their mission from promoting safe sex practices in the surrounding community to helping UChicago students understand how to have sex. In…
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Counterpoint: No guys, seriously, I’m the antichrist
By Ricky Stewart Oct. 21, 2012 If youve been following the news at all since President Obama took office, youve probably heard the rumors about how hes a Muslim Antichrist sent from Kenya…
