Join Singe

The days are short and cold. Your heart lies empty, forlorn. And all around you, your fairly chopped friends are dating some of the most attractive people you have ever seen. The February deadline looms close. 

Dearest UChicago student, are you feeling single this Valentine’s Day? Well, never fear. We are here to help. Toss out Tinder and Hinge, and join Big Tech’s newest brainchild: Singe, the college dating app that lights your heart and mind aflame.

Now, instead of having your face stolen for AI training by other nonfunctioning dating services, you can have your face stolen for AI training AND get matched with students too busy grinding it out in the Reg to know what Plato would call the form of grass. Connect with hundreds of other students at your fingertips without actually ever having to interact with them in person, so your social anxiety is never triggered. Get ragebaited by doctored profile photos and heartbroken by the players. On Singe, everyone is cooked, but at least they are being roasted together. 

So join the masses in finding love online this Valentine’s Day. Don’t get burned. Get Singe(d).