Parents Befriend Student’s Least Favorite Professor During Model Class
KENT – When Professor Peter Graham of the chemistry department offered a model class in “The Chemistry of Grass Growing” this Family Weekend, he wasn’t expecting to find friendship with two of the parents in attendance. Mark and Eliza Crawford of Ojai, California, enjoyed Graham’s lecture so much that they went out to lunch with him afterward. They even stayed on as model TAs for the next day’s model section.
“I had never thought of grass growing as being so fascinating!” Eliza gushed as she cleaned Graham’s chalkboard. “And he had never met anyone who found his subject so important and interesting. It was just an instant connection. We’re having him over for Thanksgiving this year. And to think our daughter told us he was a bad professor!”
“The chemistry department told me to do this model class that was ‘conveniently’ at the same time as our department meeting, where they were planning to vote on which professors would have to teach Gen-Chem next year,” Graham told the Dealer. “So now I’m teaching Gen-Chem, but at least Mark and Eliza are organizing a protest against that grave injustice in the UChicago Parents Facebook group.” Graham teared up as he added, “No one else has ever actually listened to me when I speak.” Or something like that–our interviewer had stopped paying attention by that point.
The only person unhappy with the sudden friendship is first-year Tori Crawford, Mark and Eliza’s daughter and a current student in Professor Graham’s Chemistry of Big Problems class. “Professor Graham is evil. His midterm was 100 questions long and weighted at 45% of the grade. Plus, his labs are, like, four hours long, minimum. I only sent my parents to his model class so I’d have time to finish my p-set. And now he’s coming to Thanksgiving? I just hope he likes beta-mercaptoethanol in his cranberry sauce…” The Shady Dealer wishes the Crawford family and Professor Graham a happy Thanksgiving and does not assume liability in the event of Professor Graham’s death.
