Jason Momoa Rocks the Minecraft Movie, Brings in 2000% More Hot Moms than Predicted

LOS ANGELES—In a twist that has sent shockwaves through both Hollywood and PTA groups nationwide, Jason Momoa’s starring role in A Minecraft Movie has reportedly increased the film’s hot mom interest by a staggering 2000% according to early analytics and several flustered suburban Facebook groups.

The Minecraft movie, originally predicted to cater to 6-to-12-year-olds with an unhealthy obsession for pixelated dirt, has become a cultural phenomenon among 30-to-45-year-old women who “just thought it looked like something the kids would like,” then watched the trailer 17 times before Googling “Jason Momoa shirtless Minecraft.”

“The numbers expected a modest turnout from the MILF segment,” said Warner Bros.’s marketing executive Sheila Donowitz. “We projected maybe 4% interest, tops. But the moment Jason punched a creeper and flipped his hair in 4K, we started seeing spikes in yoga studio Wi-Fi usage and Pinot Grigio sales. We thought his hype was over after Aquaman failed, but I guess not.”

Online ticket pre-orders have surged in zip codes associated with carpool-heavy neighborhoods and Target locations. Theater chains are already adapting, with AMC announcing a “MomCraft Night” event featuring themed cocktails like the “Pixelated Passion Fruit Mojito” and “Redstone Sangria,” and a temporary daycare center showing reruns of Bluey.

Momoa, who is somehow both Aquaman and the human embodiment of a wood-chopping fantasy novel, responded humbly to the news: “I just wanted to make a fun movie for the kids,” he said, casually whittling a battle axe out of a whole oak tree. “But if a few moms want to show up and scream during the lava scene, who am I to stop them?”

“My wife scheduled a ‘date night’ to the Minecraft premiere,” said Greg Simmons of Des Moines. “Then she told me I could just drop her off and pick her up two hours later. I haven’t felt this ignored since she discovered Pedro Pascal.”

Cultural critics suggest this is only the beginning of the “Momoa Movie Effect,” wherein any franchise—even ones previously reserved for tweens, awkward teens, and Reddit forums—can become mainstream hits with the strategic application of biceps and dimples.

A24 is rumored to be fast-tracking Jason Momoa’s Little Women, while Netflix is quietly developing Emily in Pixeland, a gritty Minecraft-based romantic drama starring Momoa and a gravel-voiced Zendaya.

Back in theaters, one mother of three in Sacramento summed it up best: “I came for the kids, but I stayed for the pecs. And the crafting table montage.”