Midterms, in Fact, Mid

The students of the University of Chicago have come to a shocking realization: midterms are, it turns out, pretty mid. This discovery, which is made every quarter, still came as a shock to the community. Despite our best efforts, The Shady Dealer’s attempts to conduct interviews in the field have fallen short, with our reporters encountering difficulties pulling quotes from sobbing students. 

Amidst a sea of dissatisfaction, professors have gone on strike, demanding students write their own midterms. Nevertheless, midterms have been decidedly, shockingly, and unavoidably, mid. 

Following a university-wide poll, our researchers at The Dealer have come to the conclusion that midterms have been mediocre all around. Not a single person has scored higher than a D (bar biz econ majors, some of whom are reportedly receiving grades as high as Cs).

In other words, the same students who applied to the place where “fun goes to die”, were surprised when fun, in fact, died.