Obama to Appear in Kent 107 for Guest Organic Chemistry Lecture

HYDE PARK — The University of Chicago’s vaunted  Organic Chemistry sequence will have a special surprise for students this quarter: a guest lecture from the one and only President Barack Obama. According to the chemistry department, the former president will be lecturing on “Diels-Alder olefination” and “Halonium-induced polyene cyclisation”. We asked the former president his goals for the lecture, and he stated that he’d like “to show the youth the importance of the pharmaceutical industry to the American people and inspire a new generation of scientists to follow in the footsteps of the greats, like Fritz Haber.” 

Bryan Dickinson, the lecturer for Organic Chemistry this winter, was seen in his office excitedly preparing a gift basket for Obama. Sources say it included “copious amounts of hair gel” and “several of Professor Dickinson’s signed headshots”. 

Obama’s appearance has him join a long and distinguished list of UChicago Chemisty Professors who just don’t give a fuck.