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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Guy in Practice Room Humored by Neighbor’s Feeble Attempt At Music

    Jillian Amsler / October 7, 2021

    “How cute,” thought Jeff Herbert, a second year living in Campus North Residential Commons, as he overheard the music coming from the room over. “They really let anybody play in these practice rooms…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Red October: Wellness Czar Overthrown by Bolsheviks in House Council Election

    Nadezhda “Kay” Krupskaya / October 5, 2021

    This just in: Nicholas Romanov, the longtime Wellness Czar of Salisbury House in Burton-Judson, has been unseated by an anonymous group gaining traction on campus: “The Wellness Bolsheviks”. According to our sources, the…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-Ed: Stext and the City: Stacks Are Not-So-Secret Haven for Desperate Undergrads 

    Karrie “Kay” Bradshaw / October 4, 2021

    Books are teachers, and very patient ones, for that matter. The lesson that all the books in the Regenstein bookstacks collectively taught me is that sometimes I should trust the posts on UChicago…

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Newer Posts 

Read It and Weep

  • Disgusting Mouse Cartoon Repulses Nation
  • Point: Your Country’s Science Education is Lacking; Counterpoint: WE GOT THE MOON FIRST CRY ABOUT IT
  • U.S. Declares Victory in Cold War as Bush Shellacs Gorbachev in Potato Sack Race
  • Richard Nixon Dazzles Nation With Beautiful Swimsuit Bod
  • Pigs Rooted Out of Truffle-Hunting Business by Sick New Dog Breed
  • New Statement From Hitler: “After Poland I’m Done Bro, Trust Me Bro, Deadass”
  • They wouldn’t let me into the Donner party and I am IRATE
  • Crazy New Party Drug Also Good for Surgery
  • 5 Tips to Make Sure You’re the King’s Top Mistress
  • Simone De Beauvoir Cancels Long-Awaited Sequel The Third Sex

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