Chicago Shady Dealer

Area Man Cooks with Street Salt

Its been a long and fruitful winter for one local man who now as all he needs for these upcoming months. Each day Rolley drives around and when he spots his special blue/purple rocks strewn about streets and sidewalks, he steps out and collects them. For the upcoming spring, he now has more salt than ever before, greedily filling each and every closet in his apartment.

His “special spice” brings a special bite to his cooking that his friends describe as “unmistakable” and “definitely something else”. Before I left his home, I was provided with a special omelet to try it for myself. The light purple tint made it all the more appetizing. I couldn’t look away.

I was hesitant to go in for a bite, and after doing so I altered the course of my life.

I took a bite and then another. I wanted to stop, but my body was being pulled in. I couldn’t stop eating.

I ran out of salt but I wasn’t satisfied. I wanted more, I NEEDED more. I feel now as if my own chemical composition has been altered, I am no longer human. The streets are running out, I’ve scoured far and wide to find more to get whatever salt is left on these barren roads.

If you have any information on where more is PLEASE contact me and if you have collected some for yourself please share. Rolley won’t answer my calls and I am not satiated.