Five Things You Forgot Need Spring Cleaning
The 10 day forecast might look like the man upstairs is playing tricks on us, but according to my inner senses (as informed by the Gregorian calendar), it is in fact spring. Yay.
Between pretending to be stressed and securing summer internships to appease your parents, you might have forgotten to tidy up in the spirit of rebirth and renewal. But don’t worry, you silly goose: I’ve compiled a list of all the nooks and crannies that could use a bit of elbow grease.
- Your Browser History
The winter was long and cold. You might have spent time looking at content that doesn’t still need to be living in the bowels of your computer. Now that it’s light out after 4 p.m., clear it.
- El Fridge
Remember when the waiter from Shinju looked at you with disgust as you asked for your three remaining ramen noodles and teaspoon of broth be “packed to go”? Because you wanted to bring your leftovers to campus so it looked like you meal prepped? Of course you don’t, and those same noodles are now at the back of your fridge buried behind your roommate’s 9 million Tupperware containers. Two words: toss it*!
*But first taste it, because ya never know.
- Your “favorite” contacts
Jessica from high school didn’t call to wish you a happy Spring Solstice, and seeing her name on your “favorites” list every time you panic-call your mom just isn’t sparking joy the way it used to. Marie Kondo that bitch.
- Your email inbox
The latest Postmates email wants you know that the code “fry-day” will get you 10% off your next delivery, but their puns are getting stale. It goes without saying that you will never get around to reading your preschool’s monthly newsletter. Et cetera. Unstar it, baby, and unsubscribe.
- Your wallet.
My venmo is @audfromson.
Good luck.
