Trans Fats Banned a Second Time for Being Woke
Although trans fats have long been restricted in the US because of their role in heart disease and stroke risks, the Trump administration announced today that it would be banning them from processed foods once again.
Health and Human Service (HHS) Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. stated the re-ban was “a logical step” in his Make America Healthy Again agenda.
In a Truth Social post, President Trump wrote, “The HHS, under the direction of my friend BEAUTIFUL BOBBY, is removing the WOKE Trans Fats from the Diet of our Country. The Democrats wanted Transgender for Everyone, so the American People elected ME in a LANDSLIDE! Trans Fats are costing us $10,000,000 MILLION a day in healthcare costs. That is no longer the case, and now, your Premiums will be lower!!! MAKE AMERICA HEALTHY AGAIN!!! – DJT”
Trans fats have been absent from processed foods since 2015 and were completely phased out within three years. Thus, trans fats join Data Entry Interfaces (DEIs), the study of dark matter, and the action of waking up as recent, curious targets for the administration.
Justin Bilenker
Copy Editor 2023-2025
Emperor 2025-2026
