University installs large trapdoor in the Reg that swallows students, Tuition still Rising

In a bold move by the University, a large trapdoor has been installed at the main entrance to the Regenstein Library. The trapdoor has stayed operational for the majority of library hours, leading to unsuspecting students being swallowed into the deep, dark abyss beneath the Reg. 

What is in the deep, dark abyss?? No one really knows or cares. 

The sounds of students plummeting into the unknown echoes throughout the library. Their screams of despair fill the otherwise empty background of the upper floors of the Reg. 

Meanwhile, the University has just announced a $5,000 increase in tuition! Yay!

It is unclear if the two are related, but an uptick of disappearances occurred after the university announced the tuition increase.