Area Man Solves Grain Shortage by Inventing Grain

MESOPOTAMIA — After centuries of a grueling grain shortage, an area man has revolutionized human civilization by inventing grain. While his family was out hunting and gathering to get enough food for themselves, Pesty Cyde, in a spiritual episode, buried some seeds in the ground. Turns out, a couple months later, those seeds sprouted into an edible plant. Cyde then “harvested” the “grain,” and made some tasteless porridge. According to a recent source, Cyde was last seen hoarding the grain and proclaiming it all belonged to him, citing his divine revelation of “social hierarchy.” Onlookers remarked that this concept was “foolproof” and “never would cause any problems ever.”