![]()
Oct. 12, 2015
Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was mysteriously missing from the stage at the first Democratic Presidential Primary Debate. The debate began with a camera pan to reveal that Sanders was, in fact, sitting in the audience completing a New York Times crossword and distributing Werther’s Original hard candies to fellow debate viewers.
Moderator Anderson Cooper entered the crowd to escort Senator Sanders to his podium. However, the candidate initially refused to leave his seat. He yielded after Mr.Cooper asserted “It’s me, Grandpa Bernie; It’s little Andy”. Senator Sanders complimented Anderson Cooper on how tall he had grown and after assuming his position behind his podium on the stage flipped a nickel to Mr.Cooper intended for him to “run down to the candy shoppe and get an egg-cream on old Pop-pop”.
Sanders leaned over to fellow candidate Hillary Clinton and asked what year it is while simultaneously opening the “Tuesday” compartment of his pill dispenser. He proceeded to take double the recommended dosage of Centrum Silver Adults 50+ and stare far into the distance, vaguely in the direction of the camera, signalling the official beginning of the Democratic Debate.
Brooklyn accent translation was provided by Antonia Esposito.
