The Wiggles Pull Music from Spotify in Show of Solidarity with Taylor Swift

By Jacob Levin

April 23, 2016

In a public announcement Monday, The Wiggles announced that they have decided to remove all of their music from Spotify to show solidarity with Taylor Swift and “starving musicians everywhere.“

“It is the collective opinion of The Wiggles that music should not be free. We pour blood, sweat, and tears into all of our albums, movies, and television programs, and as artists, we will no longer stand by as music streaming services irreparably damage the industry,” Greg “Yellow Wiggle” Page wrote in an op-ed in the Chicago MaroonNew York Times. “Ms. Swift sharess our vision of a day in which artists can decide the price of their art, in the wake of his untimely death, we wanted to honor him..“”

Jeff “Purple Wiggle” Fatt was not as gracious in his address to the media Tuesday. “If Spotify thinks that they can profit off the backs of mainstream artists like us and Taylor, well, they can go shake their sillies out in hell.”

“We certainly hope that The Wiggles will change their mind and help build one hot potato of a music economy.,” Spotify posted on its website.

“Fuck off with that hot potato noise,” Murray “Red Wiggle” Cook shot back in a since-deleted tweet. “How’s this for insulting commentary; if they try to paint us as the villains, we will personally go to Spotify headquarters and turn those fruits into a fruit salad.”

At press time, Wiggles show cast member Dorothy the Dinosaur could not be reached for comment, though reports placedas she was spotted protesting her at a recent protest atof an abortion clinic run by Captain Feathersword.