Millions of Kids Dress as Migos for Halloween, None of them Takeoff

By Nico Aldape

Oct. 31, 2018

Millions across the nation celebrated Halloween by dressing as Migos this Halloween, the second-most popular costume among young black children (behind the King of Wakanda).

The “Bad N’ Boujee” and “Walk It Talk It” rap group’s influence reached the University of Chicago this spooky season.

“I mean, I picked Offset this Halloween, just cause I’m the tallest in my friend group,” said second-year Jamari Washington. He’s the tallest Migos. Also, if anyone doesn’t get my costume, all I need to do is yell ‘Offset!’ They get it after that.” 

Washington then proceeded to rap the entirety of his costume-sake’s verse on Tyga’s “Taste”, unfortunately with no discernible flow, before continuing. 

He added that his first-year friend would be Quavo, as Quavo sports grills on his teeth and the friend still wears braces which “look close enough,” according to Washington. 

Said Quavo-dressed friend did not want to be identified by the Dealer, expressing a will to distance herself from her costume-sake after he put out the frustratingly mediocre Quavo Huncho earlier this year. 

“Damn, ad lib game weak A.F.,” said the anonymous Quavo-dressing friend,”which I never thought I’d say about anything Migos-related, yet, here I am. At least that’s better than anything Takeoff’s done. Takeoff’s the Ringo Starr of Migos.” 

She later took back her comparison, adding that, “at least the Beatles let Ringo have ‘Ob La Di, Ob La Da.’” 

The anonymous friend expressed that even the worst Quavo would be better than even the best Takeoff. She thought Takeoff “had the worst verse of Narcos, bar none,” and that “it should have stayed a Netflix show and never become a song.” 

After interviewing the many students on campus dressing as Migos (and several local Hyde Park-ers), the Dealer was unable to find any who included Takeoff as part of their group Halloween costume plans. 

“That would just, like, mess with the synergistic vibe of it all,” added local Ayesha Lucas. “Including Takeoff would offset the balance. Also, what does he look like? I was at a Migos show once and don’t know if I saw him. Is he like, real?” 

The Dealer reached out to Quavious Keyate Marshall (Quavo), Kiari Kendrell Cephus (Offset), and Kirshnik Takeoffius Ball (Takeoff) for comment. In a voice message, they said “Hey!” yelled in a manner oddly similar to many of their ad libs.