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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    How Subtly Do You Flirt with Your TA?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Morgan Pantuck Nov. 9, 2015 1. You run into your TA in Ex Libris. You: a. Wave at them from the coffee line b. Make small talk about class c. Tell them…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Math Major Has Nothing Left to Prove

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Alek Binion Oct. 19, 2015 On October 1, 2015, it was confirmed that Todd Smith, a fourth-year Mathematics major at the University of Chicago, has nothing left to prove. The University of…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    CNN to Model Next Presidential Debate after the Hunger Games

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Zoe Kaiser Oct. 8, 2015 Emboldened by the ratings brought in by the Republican presidential debate, CNN plans to base the next Republican primary debate on the popular Hunger Games books, pitting…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Alpha Phi Omega

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Shady Dealer Aug. 1, 2015 Ever wanted to be in a frat without the booze? The Peace Corps without the credit? Boy Scouts without the fire? JOIN ALPHA PHI OMEGA! Focus on…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Gay Marriage Stance Added to Official List of Yoga Poses

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Alexander Dunlap May 26, 2015 Yoga practitioners faced an expanded repertoire last week, as new asanas were added by the Yoga Council to the official list of yoga poses. Most discussed among…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Five Sex Tips So Good, You’ll Forget You’ve Never Had a Vaginal Orgasm

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Becky Stoner April 25, 2015 1. If your man’s not getting the job done, take matters into your own hands. While he’s on top of you, grunting his way towards climax, take…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    CPD Aims to Strengthen Community Relationships with “Fuck the Police” Initiative

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Alex Dunlap March 1, 2015 The Chicago Police Department announced this week a groundbreaking initiative that aims to “rethink the way that citizens interact with their police force,” according to a statement…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Swedish Teens Not Very Excited About Swedish Beatles

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Chris Deakin Feb. 1, 2015 In what comes as surprising news for record executives and music critics alike, the young people of Sweden have not responded to the Swedish Beatles with the…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Everyone Around Me Kissing??

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Evan Bernstein Jan. 2, 2015 What?? Why?? I don’t understand!! We were all just standing around having a good time and then- what?? Everyone started kissing! Each other! With their mouths! They’re…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Uber Driver Crosses into Non-Delightful Racism

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Si Squires-Kasten Nov. 26, 2014 During a ride Thursday morning to Logan International Airport, Uber driver Travis Murphy moved without warning from lighthearted racial observations into what several sources confirms was “flat…

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