-
US, Nato Invade Dining Hall for Oil, Weapons of Mass Destruction
By Ayesha Wadhawan April 25, 2013 The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has declared “inevitable” an invasion of University of Chicago dining halls, naming them a “primary threat to American security.” Senior U.S.…
-
Study: “Unhappiness Just Part of UChicago Experience,” UChi Secrets Most Successful Experiment Yet
By Angela Wang Feb. 24, 2013 Almost nine and a half years ago, a number of the greatest UChicago minds came together for the “first, and probably only, series of interdisciplinary applied research…
-
Kids Crazy About Minecraft!
By Chris Deakin Feb. 4, 2013 Check this out: kids are all about this new Minecraft thing. Have you seen this? Hold your horses, I’ll tell you, gosh. So what it’s all about…
-
University to Close South, Max P, Snitchcock, and Burton Judson
By Catherine Alvarez-McCurdy Jan. 3, 2013 Following the positive feedback the University received upon its announcement of plans to close and destroy Pierce Tower over the upcoming summer, the Housing Office has decided…
-
Local Fatty Learns Chinese Through Fortune Cookies
By Stephen Lurie Nov. 11, 2012 Area man Jack Yarborough discovered this week an unexpected and unintended benefit to his Chinese take-out habit: learning Chinese. By his estimates, the 340-pound Mr. Yarborough must…
-
Romney claims he built his own teeth
By Mark Boykin Oct. 22, 2012 At a campaign stop in St. Paul, Minnesota, yesterday, presidential hopeful Mitt Romney launched into dental rhetoric in the middle of a speech on campaign finance. In…
-
Top 6 Things to Do This MLK Day If You Don’t Have a Date
By Christian Villanueva Jan. 21, 2019 Another year, another Martin Luther King Day without a date. Have you tried every way to get a date who can revere a great American hero…
-
Local Vegan Cooked for Thanksgiving Dinner
By Olivia Reeves Nov. 22, 2018 In an unusual twist on an American classic, the family of third year Jane Wallis has announced that they will be cooking and eating her instead of…
-
Millions of Kids Dress as Migos for Halloween, None of them Takeoff
By Nico Aldape Oct. 31, 2018 Millions across the nation celebrated Halloween by dressing as Migos this Halloween, the second-most popular costume among young black children (behind the King of Wakanda). The…
-
Richard Thaler Depressed After No Longer Being the Center of Attention
By JJ Zheng Oct. 8, 2018 Credit: Getty Images Dr. Richard Thaler, recipient of the 2017 Nobel Prize in Economics, is reportedly feeling depressed after news of the 2018 recipients broke this morning.…