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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Apartment Infested with Mugs

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Morgan Pantuck Jan. 16, 2017 When local undergraduate student Mindy Rankin came home from work last Tuesday evening, she knew something was wrong. “I saw two or three mugs on the living…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-Ed: Why is Everyone in My Family Thankful for Greg Kinnear?

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Nik Varley Nov. 25, 2016 Don’t get me wrong, I love Thanksgiving.  I love getting a break from classes, eating loads of food and spending time with my old friends.  However, more…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Admissions Office Announces Exciting New Diversity Initiative

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Philip O’Sullivan Nov. 14, 2016 The University of Chicago Admissions Office recently announced an exciting new diversity initiative, the Opportunity Scholarship, to help increase the diversity of rich and privileged students attending…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Top Ten UChicago Christmas Kinks

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Shira Eisenberg Oct. 26, 2016 Whether you’re home for the holidays or poppin‘ some acid and camping out in Mansueto, here are some sure fire ways to getcha into the Christmas spirit.Whether…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    First Years to Skip One Year of Human Interaction with AP Credit

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Baunnee Martinez Oct. 12, 2016 After pressure from the student body for more credit from their AP examinations, the College is now offering Class of 2020 students with 5’s on certain tests…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Dean Ellison Awakens from Week-Long Bender with No Memory of Welcome Letter

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By James Reece Aug. 26, 2016 Dean Ellison Awakes from Week Long Bender with No Memory of Welcome LetterThursday, August 25th, 5:16 PMUniversity of Chicago Ddean of StudentAadmissions in the College John ““Jay”…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Op-Ed: Porn is Worse Here

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Ryan Fleishman July 25, 2016 op-ed: porn is worse here Porn. I love it, you love it, we all love porn, but especially me. I love porn the most, so I am…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Campus Circles of Hell

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Nico Aldape and Teddy Zamborsky May 14, 2016 First Circle (Limbo): Your Room Technically, yYour humble abode, ayet another reminder of both sleep and toil, your room cannot be pinned down as…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Why Hillary Is Just Like You #Swag

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Liam Coles May 13, 2016 Hillary Clinton recently has gotten a bad rap about being “cold” and “unhip” with young people, but I am here to remind you that she is just…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    GOP Engages Millennials through Hip Hop Musical about Restricting Reproductive Rights

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Katie Zellner April 23, 2016 “Seventeen, seh-seh-seventeen. SB seventeen twenty two.” Thus begins the song “Don’t Abort Her, Sir” from the trendy new musical penned by GOP lobbyist turned lyricist, Vernon White.…

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  • UChicago Requires Library+ to Access Books
  • Point: We Should Increase Fire Drills/Counterpoint: Let’s Add A Gym Requirement Instead
  • Apply for the Royal Internship
  • Bridge Between Quad and Reg Somehow Collapses Despite Being Solid Road
  • “Back to Basics” Aims of Education Address Stresses, Shapes, Counting

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