By Dan Lastres & Milena Pross Oct. 17, 2017 Dear Dan, How are you? My first few weeks of class have been good but stressful. At first I took four classes, but now…

By Editorial Board of The Chicago Shady Dealer Oct. 12, 2017 The Chicago Shady Dealer is honored to have been awarded the illustrious Nobel Prize in Truth-Telling. In these dark times when truth…

By Katie Zellner and Morgan Pantuck March 16, 2017 It’s an easy relationship trap to fall into: You’re busy, he’s busy. You basically only see each other at the Reg. Studying together is…

By Ryan Fleishman May 12, 2017 How To Stay Calm When Your Bowling Date Misses An Easy 7-10 SplitWe’ve all been there:. yYou‘ are on a bowling date with a seemingly nice girl…

  By Breck Radulovic April 20, 2017 Bumper Sticker Space on Subaru Forester at a Premium Hyde Park resident Patty Nielson, aged 55, announced on Facebook that she is running out of room…

By Dan Lastres March 25, 2017 An internal memo leaked to the Chicago Shady Dealer by an anonymous White Hhouse insider staffers says that President Trump was “sent to bed early for misbehaving,”…

By Nico Aldape Feb. 23, 2017 Trump Administration Announces Executive Task Force on Inclusivity of the Gays, Illegals, and Blacks On Wednesday, Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced the development of an executive branch…

By 21st Amendment, 1933 Feb. 5, 2017 CP: 21st Ammendment: Nooo, You’re Drunk!! Pshhhh. Me, dDrunk? I’m not drunk! You’re drunk! If I’m sooo drunk, then how come you’re the one spinning in…

By Nik Varley Jan. 27, 2017 Mandel Hall – 9:30 P.M. Following reports of screams, chaos, and general unrest at Mandel Hall, eyewitnesses have confirmed that the sisters of Pi Beta Phi began…

By Antonia Salisbury Jan. 9, 2017 Modern life ishas been plagued by the pervasive misconception that we all understand how rechargeable batteries work. But we don’t. You don’t get it, I don’t get…