By Liam Coles Jan. 22, 2016 WASHINGTON, 2019– Just yesterday on 19th March 2019 around 6:30 PM EST, just over two years since President Trump took office, America officially became great again. Living…

By Nikolai Alodopolous, 200 CE Jan. 18, 2016 Are you a God yourself or just a messenger for your God? 1. The god, totally. Or maybe both, kind of like Jesus. 2. Don’t…

By Daniel Ruttenberg Dec. 31, 2015 1. The Golden Man Might Get Lonely! People aren’t the only ones who get lonely, you know. The Golden Man deserves a friend too. 2. The Oscar…

By Nico Aldape Nov. 17, 2015 I am gender-blind – I don’t see gender. Contrary to popular opinion and fact, the male gender is being oppressed due to reverse sexism. As a man,…

By Nico Aldape Nov. 11, 2015 I quite honestly think sports culture is obnoxious. Major sports just capitalize on hyper-masculinity (except basketball and soccer, which capitalize on flopping and pretending to be injured).…

By Pseudonym? Oct. 21, 2015 According to recent reports, a thing that you have just seen, which should, by all accounts, be considered deeply strange, is somehow continuing to be arousing despite all…

By Katie Zellner Oct. 12, 2015 After seeing a convincing Facebook post by his uncle, the Co-CEO of Panera Bread Sam Hockly has announced that his company will begin serving only 100% organic…

By Willamina Groething Aug. 1, 2015 Anthropology: Raspberry Vinaigrette Biology: Italian Cinema and Media Studies: Honey Mustard Classics: Caesar Computer Science: Creamy Caesar Economics: Green Goddess English Language and Literature: French Environmental Studies:…

By Morgan Pantuck May 26, 2015 Citing your product’s unusual color, texture, and melting point, Citing your product’s unusual color, texture, and melting point, a panel of MIT’s top scientists confirmed today that…

By Evan Bernstein April 26, 2015 Marital problems? We’ve all been there. Some people will tell you to talk it out, but sometimes it’s best to keep your troubles to yourself and never…