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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Study: Fear of Snakes “Totally Reasonable”

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Daniel Moattar May 26, 2015 Study: Fear of Snakes “Totally Reasonable”The fear of snakes is a completely sensible reaction to environmental factors, including extreme fucking deadliness and terrifying goddamn slithery noisesResearchers at…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    It Happened to Me: My Palm Reader Was a Murderer

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Laniel Dastres April 26, 2015 It isn’t everyday that you can pay a small fee to have a stranger inform your life and career decisions with visions of the future. That’s why…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Will The Circle Be Unbroken? An Analysis of the Daytona 500

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Sam Taylor March 1, 2015 RACING. FAST. CAR BOYS. FAST. RACING. AMEN. The 2015 Cup Series rumbled to life this past weekend with the Daytona 500, as NASCAR fans around the country…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Oh God, Oh No, A Train!

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Evan Bernstein Feb. 1, 2015 PARIS 1986 – A review of the Lumière brothers’ The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station Oh God oh Jesus oh no oh God everybody…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    You Are All Adopted

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Shady Dealer Editorial Board Jan. 10, 2015 At the moment we exit the womb, we enter into a pervasive societal delusion. The mothers who raise us and nurture us also claim to…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    News in Brief: November 27 (Happy Thanksgiving)

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 27, 2014 New Police Handbook Instructs Officers to Close Their Eyes, Spin Around Three Times Before Shooting An update to a national police best practices guide will instruct…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The P in P-Set is Silent

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Editorial Board Nov. 16, 2014 We realize that at the University of Chicago, stress can get to you. There are classes to take, midterms for which to study, student groups in which…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    President Obama Arrested for Climbing Main Quad Maple

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Willamina Groething Oct. 24, 2014 President Obama’s recent Chicago visit was interrupted Sunday by what White House officials are calling a “misunderstanding” with the University of Chicago Police Department. The UCPD responded…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    RH’s Kid Knows What You Did

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Chris Deakin Aug. 4, 2014 RH’s Child Knows What You Did With Orientation Week in its second day, sources close to Resident Heads George and Patty Finch of Janotta House can confirm…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    American Hero Remembers to Use Correct Pronouns

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Mary Vansuch April 20, 2014 University of Chicago freshmen  was bestowed a MacArthur Award last Monday for accomplishing a truly extraordinary task: using his friend Alex’s preferred gender pronoun, “they.” When…

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  • First Year accidentally goes to bed before 3 AM, profusely apologizes

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