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Point: Race No Longer Divides Us. Counterpoint: I Agree with the Jew
By Teddy Zamborsky Feb. 1, 2015 Point: Race No Longer Divides Us I, Paul Steinburg, am able to proclaim, in the year 2424, that race no longer divides us. I am happy to…
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Neil deGrasse Tyson Breaks Down Science and Fiction in Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs Two
By Alex Foster Dec. 30, 2014 When Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs was released in 2009, it opened our eyes to a future of meteorology and food science that no one had…
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News in Brief: October 30, 2014
By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 19, 2014 Marlon C. Lynch Reassures Students: Security Alert Will Be Sent Within 30 Days of First Ebola Death on Campus Marlon Lynch, Associate Vice President for Safety,…
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Life of the Mined
By A Lump of Coal Nov. 13, 2014 The hardest part of being both a first year at the University of Chicago and a sentient lump of coal would have to be adjusting…
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Look: Chris Christie Flashes Major Side Boob!
By Annabelle Newport Oct. 23, 2014 Chris Christie is living on the edge. The presidential hopeful and second-term Governor of New Jersey paraded into the office this morning flaunting some major side boob…
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We Should Reject the Binary
By by Intel 2.4 GHz Dual Core i7 May 13, 2014 10101000000010000001001011010101001100101101000111010011110010101110100000101100110111000100100011001010001101110000001110010111111100101011110010110011101110000101111000011100011110110110001110001110000010011100100110010000001110100110101100011100001111000001110111001111100000001101111101101011110110000011110010000001111110011000110000010101110011110011010011011011101110011100011001101011100001100100000011011100010001100111000011001011110111001010111011011000011110000100010001100110101011100101011001111011100011111100010101101101111010010001011101011001010101000100011100101100101110110011110011110001100001011000011001001110110011011011001010101000000101100111100001000111101110010111011111011000101111001110000100101011001101101000110010110001100010100110100000000101001101010111001001000111100011011101110101100
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Circle Jerk More of an Oval
By Evan Bernstein April 20, 2014 Over the past week, The Dealer has received numerous phone calls, anonymous tips, and letters regarding this weekend’s horrific event on the North Side. The Circle Jerk…
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Students Fight to Save Summer Lynx
By Alex Dunlap Feb. 22, 2014 A group calling itself “Save the Summer Lynx” has raised concerns that changes in University policy may pose an “existential threat” to the future of the endangered…
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World’s Largest Porn Collection Burns Down
By Walker King (391) Jan. 24, 2014 zTragedy struck Egypt yesterday when the Library of Alexandria, the world’s largest depository of pornographic materials, was burned to the ground by Roman Emperor Lucius Aurelianus.…
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Student Enjoyed Studying A Broad
By Matthew Goldenberg Dec. 24, 2013 In an interview conducted last week, third-year in the College Jacob Sandilson confirmed that he really enjoyed studying a broad last summer. There had been rumors among…
