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Female Philosophy Major Thought Experiments With Women
By Daniel Ruttenberg Dec. 31, 2015 According to Shady Dealer reporters, at Bar Night on January 6, y 10th, third-year Lisa D’Angelo thought experimented for the first time with a woman by, as…
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US News Releases Rankings of Most Prestigious Prisons
By Nik Varley Nov. 12, 2015 Earlier this week, US News and World Report released their annual rankings of the nation’s most prestigious prisons. The 5 top top 5 ranked prisons have been…
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Blackouts End as Gentrification Begins
By Grace Quigley Nov. 2, 2015 DETROIT– Economists and demographers have noted a distinct negative correlation between blackouts and gentrification in certain neighborhoods here following the Great Recession of 2008. .In the turmoil…
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Used Tissue Re-evaluated
By Morgan Pantuck Oct. 19, 2015 According to eyewitness reports, area flu-victim Walter Atkins was forced to re-evaluate the feasibility of continuing to blow his nose into a tissue that he had already…
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Botany Pond Opens For New Year of Swimming
By Willamina Greothing Sept. 22, 2015
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Words With the Highest Social Capital
By Mary Vansuch July 28, 2015 Dinner party swag Yaaaaaaaasssssss (careful on spelling; this can dramatically change the value) Authentically Crafted Peoples of Smashing Freely Traded and Organically Grown Swagger Calumet Fisheries Children,…
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What’s Better Than A Vaccine?
By Willamina Groething May 26, 2015 In a recent study conducted by some mommybloggers you know personally and definitely trust, 374 items were tested, and these 15 were found to be objectively better…
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None of Us Have Ever Had Sex
By Editorial Bored April 23, 2015 Okay, you got us! There’s no use hiding it, so you might as well know. What gave it away? Was it that headline up there? Well, you…
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Area Father Not Ready to Give Up on Windows XP
By Dan Lastres March 1, 2015 Expressing his affection for the operating system’s utilitarian design and simplistic color scheme, local father Milton Ford told reporters that he’s sticking with Windows XP for the…
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Strategic Reserves of Plastic Bags Under Sink Still Full
By Chris Deakin Feb. 1, 2015 In a statement released this morning, roommate Charles confirmed that the deep storehouse of grocery bags located under the kitchen sink is well-stocked and will remain so…