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University of Chicago Announces ‘Donald J. Trump Residential Hall’
By Jimmy Wustler Feb. 22, 2016 In a Shady Dealer exclusive, tThe University of Chicago has announced that the new Campus North Residential Hall will be named the Donald J. Trump Residential Hall.…
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9 Things You Should NEVER Say to a Pre-Med
By Nik Varley Feb. 18, 2016 9. If your GPA drops below 3.5, will you be incinerated by a bolt of lightning? – This one’s actually a common misconception. The bolt of lightning…
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Ha! You’ve Brought a Sword to a Slightly Longer Sword Fight!
By Edward of Borsky, 1427 Jan. 22, 2016 Ha! ‘Tis a Lark! ‘Tis Woe! You’re foiled, My foe! For thou Hast bringeth a sword to a slightly longer sword fight! ‘Tis a fate,…
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Ghost Haunting White House Rose Garden Revealed to be Ted Cruz
By Breck Radulovic Jan. 5, 2016
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Student Nominated for Oscar for Daily Performance of Gender
By Chase Harrison Dec. 31, 2015 When the Oscar Nominees were announced on January 24th, many of the usual candidates were nominated: Leonardo di Caprio, Cate Blanchett, and Eddie Redmayne. However, one complete…
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Desperate Jeb Bush Adds Second Exclamation Mark to Logo
By Chase Harrison and Daniel Ruttenberg Nov. 12, 2015 At a rally in Sioux City, Iowa, a weary and obviously desperate Jeb Bush unveiled “Jeb!!” as his newest campaign logo. “It’s so fun,…
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3D Printer Births Tiny Plexiglass Baby
By Harini Radharikshnan and Nik Varley Nov. 2, 2015
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Number Without Units Hilarious
By Morgan Pantuck Oct. 19, 2015 Persons close to the situation report that a dimensionless number that was just spoken aloud by area woman Christina Wilkins is, indeed, hilarious. The figure was uttered…
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Trauma Center: Progress, But the Fight Does End Here
By Dan Leafhorn Sept. 12, 2015 The University of Chicago’s recent announcement of plans to build a trauma center on the South Side has many celebrating and lauding this decision. The promised trauma…
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Will You be a That Kid, or are You Already a That Kid?
By Nico Aldape July 26, 2015 1. To what degree do you think you know everything? a. This quiz looks pretty hard. b. I’m average, I guess c. I feel reasonably confident in…