By Nico Aldape July 26, 2015 1. To what degree do you think you know everything? a. This quiz looks pretty hard. b. I’m average, I guess c. I feel reasonably confident in…

By Ryan Fleishman May 26, 2015 Last Tuesday, as the final phase in her Let’s Move! program to promote health and fitness among American youth, First Lady Michelle Obama officially released a large…

By Dan Lastres April 23, 2015 The school board of California’s Fresno Unified School District announced last week a plan to include yoga in its physical education curriculum for the 2015-16 school year,…

By CNN March 1, 2015 For years, CNN has prided itself on keeping its valued viewers abreast of the latest and most serious threats to their well-being and property. Some have deemed our…

By Willamina Groething Feb. 1, 2015 5900 B.C.E. Sources confirmed Monday that Craig Mueller of Dærie, Northern Albijnea, drank the milk of his cow Buttercup early last week. Local authorities were alerted to…

By Christopher Walker Dec. 31, 2014 After more than a decade of research, physicists at Fermilab have concluded that Fox News broadcasts are composed of neither journalism nor entertainment. “The experiment began when…

By Chicago Shady Dealer Nov. 19, 2014 Times Editor Seeks Ways to Maintain National Interest in School Shooting Sources close to the paper reported Friday that New York Times editor Dean Baquet was…

By Evan Bernstein Nov. 16, 2014 Love Child Becomes Love Adult Sources close to Jeffrey Tanenbaum report that the twenty-five-year old graduate student has completed his transformation from a child of lust to…

By Chris Deakin Oct. 24, 2014 According to joint working group of New York University neurologists and sociologists, almost 98% of men claim that they would engage in all manner of homosexual activity…

By Evan Bernstein July 23, 2014 Dear Disastrously Misapplied Nietzsche, My boyfriend won’t stop emailing with his ex. He told me that he’d stopped talking to her, but I logged on to his…