By Dan Lastres March 25, 2017 An internal memo leaked to the Chicago Shady Dealer by an anonymous White Hhouse insider staffers says that President Trump was “sent to bed early for misbehaving,”…

By Nico Aldape Feb. 23, 2017 Trump Administration Announces Executive Task Force on Inclusivity of the Gays, Illegals, and Blacks On Wednesday, Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced the development of an executive branch…

By 21st Amendment, 1933 Feb. 5, 2017 CP: 21st Ammendment: Nooo, You’re Drunk!! Pshhhh. Me, dDrunk? I’m not drunk! You’re drunk! If I’m sooo drunk, then how come you’re the one spinning in…

By Nik Varley Jan. 27, 2017 Mandel Hall – 9:30 P.M. Following reports of screams, chaos, and general unrest at Mandel Hall, eyewitnesses have confirmed that the sisters of Pi Beta Phi began…

By Antonia Salisbury Jan. 9, 2017 Modern life ishas been plagued by the pervasive misconception that we all understand how rechargeable batteries work. But we don’t. You don’t get it, I don’t get…

By Milena Pross Nov. 15, 2016 I was recently informed that many students, specifically biological science majors, are frequently given the opportunity to wear gloves and dissect hearts, brains, eyes, and other organs…

By Baunnee Martinez Nov. 12, 2016 The soft, silky sheet. The streaks of gray that flutter across the page. The brush of the red pen on the the top corner of the calculus…

By M.E.M.E. Oct. 17, 2016 When a third3rd year Shady Dealer reporter goes to interview American historian and Dean of the College at the University of Chicago, John W. Boyer, he encounters a…

By Sofia Garcia Oct. 12, 2016 Family Weekend is here, which means that students will get the opportunity to spend the weekend with their parents in what is sure to be an emotional…

By Morgan’s Sense of Self Awareness Aug. 21, 2016 I’m not going to deny that we live in a male-dominated society which consistently attempts to delegitimize the female experience. However, you are currently…