By Audrey Fromson Oct. 27, 2018 It’s amazingly easy to forget about the people who brought us into this world. Ghosting my parents is my fatal flaw; while it makes me seem cool…

By Ella Hester Sept. 24, 2018   Look at you, in your little first year boots, squealing in terror about the impression you’ll make with your first SOSC essay. Have no fear, baby…

By Diego Matamoros June 18, 2018 Welcome to the World Cup We here at the Shady Dealer are proud to present our coverage of the 2018 World Cup, the most notable sporting event…

By Deblina Mukherjee May 5, 2018 Hyde Park, 2018 For more than 265 years, University of Chicago alumni have contributed extensively to the life of the University and to the larger society. Today,…

By Cyrus Pacht April 20, 2018 I am a paragon of heterosexuality, or so my fraternity tells me. I’ve ogled girls since the third grade, and once—surpassing many a UChicago male—ventured to speak…

By None Feb. 20, 2018 From: [email protected]Subject: Maxwell The personal adviser of my deceased client is a national of your country .I am contacting youto assist retrieve his huge deposit of US$10.5Million left…

By Reva and David Logan Center for the Arts Jan. 30, 2018 Tired of all the hard work? Looking for a way to unwind this winter quarter? Then be sure to drop by…

By Deb Mukherjee Oct. 17, 2017 Following the lead of our peer, and also lesser news outlets (Buttfeed), the Shady Dealer has decided to pivot entirely to video. It is our feeling that…

By Zakir Jamal Oct. 17, 2017 4 Drawers Your Parents Definitely Shouldn’t Open This Family Weekend 1. The bottom drawer of your dresser Shit — this is where you keep most of the…

By Greer Baxter Aug. 18, 2017 Let me just say right here and now that I’m not taking any crap from anyone on this. No, I don’t have cCeliac disease (there, I said…