The Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Why the University of Chicago Should Divest from my Ex-Girlfriend

    Nik Varley / April 5, 2016

    The University of Chicago is one of the most respected universities in the world, both as a college and research institution, and this respect creates a certain amount of responsibility, especially in regards…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Citizens Worried Proposed Single Payer System Will Force Them to Change Leech Provider

    Nik Varley / March 16, 2013

    Washington, D.C., 1860 Citizens across the country have expressed concern that a proposed single-payer healthcare system would limit their choice of which breeder supplies their medical leeches. The proposed reforms, informally dubbed LeechCare,…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • In Lieu of My Thesis, Would You Like a Bunch of Random Whale Facts?
  • de’ Medici Family Plans New Restaurant Venture in “Hyde Park, Chicago”
  • Four startups and products that are guaranteed to fail
  • Point: Maybe you need to feed the people? Counterpoint: But what about my golden rotating statue?
  • Top 5 Yummy Political Leaders to Consume
  • Mourning The Molassacre
  • Ten Tips For A Tremendous Triumphant Assasination
  • Well Intentioned Abolitionist Seen Digging Tunnel from Maine to Canada, Directionally Challenged?
  • Benedict Arnold Emerges as Favorite to Win “Best Continental Army General of the Year”
  • Local Serialized Novel Enters Five Hundred and Seventh Chapter

Chicago Shady Dealer

  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions

Archives

Categories

For Writers

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
© 2026 Chicago Shady Dealer
  • Home
  • Online Only
  • About Us
  • Previous Issues
  • Our Greatest Hits
  • Submissions
Ashe Theme by WP Royal.