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America’s Most European Supermarket, Indeed: Treasure Island Files for Bankruptcy
By Chicago Shady Dealer News Desk Sept. 29, 2018 Treasure Island, a Hyde Park grocery store that touts itself as “America’s Most European Supermarket” took its emulation of Europe a step further…
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Kellogg’s “Rasputin-O’s” Not Selling So Well in Russia
By Nico Aldape Nov. 25, 2016 In an attempt to remain a global and healthy cereal brand, Kellogg’s introduced “Rasputin-O’s” in Russia. While expecting the cereal to be a nutritious and delicious hit…
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7 Weirdest Things You’ll Find in the Basements of Academic Buildings
By Chase Harrison Oct. 16, 2015 1. A Sex Dungeon: Thanks to generous funding from the Uncommon Fund, RACK, UChicago’s BDSM Club, there is now a fully equipped sex dungeon in the basement…
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30% of UChicago Crushes Written While Masturbating
By Morgan Pantuck Nov. 9, 2013 Winter is coming, and so, apparently, are our students. New polling data reveals that as many as 30% of UChicago Crushes are actually written while masturbating. UChicago…
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Letter from the Editors: Please Buy Us Sinclair Broadcast Group
By Daniel Lastres and Milena Pross April 20, 2018 To the lovely people, responsible journalists, and concerned citizens of the Sinclair Broadcast Group: We understand that your organization is working tirelessly to acquire…
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Four Things to Do When You’re Sexiled
By Sue Donim Oct. 13, 2016 We’ve all been there. You‘re are making your way back to your dorm after a long night of studying, only to find a sock has been sloppily…
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An Exclusive Interview with My Least Favorite Neighbor
By Milena Pross May 26, 2015 n Exclusive Interview with my Least Favorite NeighborYou waited months and months, and The Chicago Shady Dealer finally got hold of him. I sat down with none…
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New Delhi Opens on 55th Street
By Matthew Goldenberg May 27, 2013 As part of the University of Chicago’s effort to revitalize commercial activity in Hyde Park, several new restaurants and stores havebeen established along 53rd and 55th Streets…
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FIJI Social Chair Sadly Deletes Pinterest Page of Three Months
By Tex Drubo May 15, 2017 “It is just such a waste,” lamented Phi Gamma Delta’s Social Chair Josh Henderson. “Months of work went into this theme – all those months, down the…
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Campus Circles of Hell
By Nico Aldape and Teddy Zamborsky May 14, 2016 First Circle (Limbo): Your Room Technically, yYour humble abode, ayet another reminder of both sleep and toil, your room cannot be pinned down as…