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New Year, Same You
By Nik Varley Dec. 31, 2015 Millions of people celebrated the coming of the New Year across this world this past January, and while many of them made resolutions and set goals of…
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Kathleen Sebelius to Teach Problems in Public Policy Implementation
By Timi Koyejo April 20, 2014 The University of Chicago Department of Public Policy has announced that Kathleen Sebelius, in her first move since resigning as U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services,…
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Admin Accuses GSU of Taking Free Speech Too Far
By Breck Radulovic and Dan Lastres Oct. 20, 2017 After years of successfully stymying grad students’ efforts to unionize, the administration was dealt a shocking defeat. Graduate students at the University of…
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Bookstore Adds Hard Liquor to School Supply Section
By Oliva Reeves Nov. 2, 2018 Following numerous requests from students doing last-minute back-to-school shopping, the UChicago Bookstore announced this week that it will add a selection of liquor to its already-expansive merchandise collection. …
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Rat Poison: Not Just for Cutting Cocaine!
By Native Advertising Jan. 17, 2017 Seth Blattstein, a spokesman for SteptON, the world’s leading manufacturer of rat poison, has announced this Friday that, while he is aware that the main use of…
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Point/Counterpoint: Sports are Obnoxious
By Nico Aldape Nov. 11, 2015 I quite honestly think sports culture is obnoxious. Major sports just capitalize on hyper-masculinity (except basketball and soccer, which capitalize on flopping and pretending to be injured).…
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An Arbitrary And Meaningless Ranking Of Colleges
By Dan Brier Dec. 29, 2013 10. Dennis’s Friendly College 9. Yale University 8. Harvey Mudd College 7. The Sparxxx School at Cowhands’ Pass 6. University of Chicago 5. Oklahoma State University School…
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Uh Oh! That Kid Just Made a Good Point for Once
By Noah Goodman May 25, 2018 THURSDAY 2:00 pm — It appeared to be a typical day in Professor Jones’s section of Self, Culture, and Society. Half the class hadn’t done their reading,…
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My Little Pony Could Beat Up Your Little Pony
By Marlin Figgins Nov. 12, 2016 Yeah I said it. My Rainbow Sparkle Sunshine can kick any pony’s ass, even your little pony. Rainbow Sparkle Sunshine is a can full of sunshine… and…
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So You’ve Challenged Your RA to a Fight to the Death
By Teddy Zamborsky Aug. 1, 2015 Well, it is best that you accept that this is happening. I’m sure you consulted your house constitution to see what kind of fight is officially sanctioned.…