By Adam Lowinger Jan. 22, 2016 After rigorous pseudo-investigation of natural phenomena, physicians around the European continent are excited to report the discovery of a fifth humor: ectoplasm. The discovery of this humor…

By Chris Deakin May 14, 2014 Approaching the end of a lengthy college career spent putting off both academic and professional work, fourth-year Donald Sterling reports that he is excited to finally have…

By Olivia Reeves Nov. 22, 2018 In an unusual twist on an American classic, the family of third year Jane Wallis has announced that they will be cooking and eating her instead of…

By Adam Lowinger Feb. 1, 2017 At a bonfire gathering yesterday, a representative of Pomegranate Caravan unveiled the design for the new Bronze Dagger 6Ss. The gathering showed off the weapon’s new features:…

By Nik Varley Nov. 12, 2015 Hey, honey. What I have to say isn’t easy, but it’s important, and I honestly can’t live with it any longer. It breaks my heart to see…

By Walker King (1939) Jan. 24, 2014 Speaking from his home in Berlin, Adolph Hitler gave a powerful address today to the German people: they must stay united if they ever hope to…

By Diego Matamoros June 18, 2018 Welcome to the World Cup We here at the Shady Dealer are proud to present our coverage of the 2018 World Cup, the most notable sporting event…

By Philip O’Sullivan Nov. 14, 2016 Communist Revolutionary and author of the book New Communism Bob Avakian recently announced that Q3 of 2016 was his best quarter yet, bringing in a record $6.1…

By Marlon C. Lynch, Associate VP for Safety and Security Aug. 9, 2015 The University of ChicagoSeptember 20, 2015Security Alert At approximately 9:50 p.m., Thursday June 19th, 2014 — A victim not affiliated…

By Ryan Keem Oct. 18, 2013 The Illinois Department of Labor has rated the University of Chicago’s Joe and Rika Mansueto Library a 9.1 on its Busy Little Fingers scale of youth-driven industrial…