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Masthead

Editors in Chief

Lena Birkholz, Jacob Halabe, Maisie Thompson

Managing Editor

Andrea Zhou

Deputy Managing Editor

Griffin Bonnin Jones

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Deputy Layout Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Justin Bilenker, Katherine Reynolds

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Study: Over 85% of IM Frisbee Participants Have No Idea What’s Going On

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Zach Augustine June 2, 2013 HYDE PARK—Recent studies suggest that over three-quarters of participants in Coed Intramural Frisbee Leagues “don’t even know how to throw”. Multiple firstyear girls, coerced to play in…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Zero Waste Redemption: How I Fit a Year of My Trash in a Mason Jar

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Ella Hester Jan. 29, 2018 When I went zero waste at the beginning of 2017, I wasn’t just embarking on a fresh start: I was literally running from the law! I needed…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Five Questions I Would Ask My Doctor If He Were Still Answering My Emails

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Morgan Pantuck June 29, 2016 1. Do I have 1. Do I have restless leg syndrome? My leg wiggles a lot. Well, not a ton, but more than usual. I’d say a…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Kentucky Derby Ends in Catastrophe

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Dan Lastres Feb. 2, 2015 LOUISVILLE MAY 18, 2218 — Disaster struck yesterday at the 344th annual Kentucky Derby when one of the galloping equine cyborgs malfunctioned and exploded just 30 seconds…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Meeting Minutes – October 10, 2000

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Design Committee – Gerald Ratner Athletics Center Feb. 6, 2013 ADMINISTRATION BUILDING, ROOM 301 Attendees Chairman of the Board of Trustees: Edgar D. Jannotta Vice-Chairman of the Board of Trustees: James S.…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Why A Woman Needs to Have Her Own Study Spot

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Katie Zellner and Morgan Pantuck March 16, 2017 It’s an easy relationship trap to fall into: You’re busy, he’s busy. You basically only see each other at the Reg. Studying together is…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Marijuana Rescheduled

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Nico Aldape April 20, 2016 IInspired by the proposedhow the federal government may move of marijuana from a Schedule I to Schedule II controlled substance, which would allow for further recreational use…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    On The Macaroon’s Recent Coverage

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Evan Bernstein Nov. 16, 2014 The Chicago Macaroon has existed since the University of Chicago’s founding in 1892, and has in that time broken some tremendous stories. Ranging from pieces on the…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Straw Man Sick of Being Attacked All the Time

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Scott Mendelssohn Oct. 24, 2012 Like many Americans, Ray Balgier is not pleased with this presidential election cycle. He, like a growing number of his peers, is a straw man, a group…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Economics Lecturer Alan Sanderson falls for the ol’ “PhD Under a Box Propped Up by a Stick” Trick

    Chicago Shady Dealer / March 16, 2013

    By Reed Thurston Nov. 11, 2015 Eyewitness reports confirmed recently that Alan Sanderson, senior Economics lecturer for the University of Chicago, was trapped underneath an upturned carboard box on the northeast corner of…

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  • Union Army Morale Skyrockets After President Lincoln’s Stunning Kazoo Solo
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  • This Snake Oil Stuff Is So Good! Really Delicious You Should Try It I’m Climbing The Walls
  • Five Romantic Poets Who Definitely Fucked Your Wife
  • SSRIs Cure Great Depression
  • Say It With Me: Zero-Hours Contract is the Best Contract!

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