By Antonia Salisbury Nov. 14, 2016 There’s nothing like the holiday season to remind you who your friends and family are and also to launch you into a deep, all-consuming depression. Luckily for…

By Ryan Fleishman Aug. 6, 2015 Mechanical cCrossbow for hunting food and protecting your spot– Lotion, as. eElbows tend to get chaffed overnight in the lounge.– Speakers so everyone on the 1st, 2nd,…

By Evan Bernstein Oct. 18, 2013 According to roommates, a red plastic cup has been washed and subsequently reused. The cup was reportedly first purchased in bulk for the purposes of a Saturday…

By Jacob Johnson Feb. 20, 2018 It’s been a revealing few months for celebrity worshippers out there. With a slew of scandals and abuse stories coming out, you might be wondering: who’s left…

By Morgan Pantuck’s Mom Aug. 21, 2016 Jacob: Dad’s tennis buddy has a son named Jacob who’s a pre-med at Northwestern. I gave his mom your cell phone number, so look out for…

By Dan’s Tough Dad March 1, 2015 Let me take you back. It’s 1983. I have a full head of hair and a BMI of 24. I’m preparing to go to the qualifying…

By Stephen Lurie April 19, 2013 Since its first post earlier this week, new Facebook page Politically Incorrect UChicago Pogroms has caused quite a stir. Having already sustained heavy criticism and support from…

By Thomas Noriega Oct. 17, 2017 Early this morning, members of the university community were awoken by a loud explosion emanating from the Midway Plaisance. Upon looking out their respective windows and doorways,…

By Nico Aldape May 2, 2016 A new University of Chicago Department of Sociology study has found that the Facebook group “Overheard at UChicago” is, in fact, the University’s most neutral, objective group…

By Matthew Goldenberg Dec. 26, 2014 When he entered his living room on Christmas morning, Tommy Harrison found that the urine-leaking box under his tree did not, in fact, contain a puppy. Tommy,…