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University Drug Ring Bust Yields Over 30 Pounds Of Raw Prozac
By Ryan Fleishman Feb. 20, 2018 Prozac In a sting operation planned over the course of seven months, the University of Chicago Police Department (UCPD) finally took down a massive University drug ring…
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Letter From the Office of Admissions
By Dean Nondorf Aug. 21, 2016 Dear incoming first-years, Welcome to the University of Chicago! We hope your journeys to Hyde Park were intellectually stimulating. You’ll need a clever anecdote to share with…
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Amazon Announces Plans to Ship Consumers Directly to Product
By Chris Deakin March 1, 2015 In a press conference this morning, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced that the online retailer will begin delivery of clients to their desired product as early as…
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Things That UChicago Crushes
By Maya Handa and Becky Stoner April 23, 2013 Hopes Dreams Hearts Livers Everything on this list that is not also a sandwich Paninis The old USPS building Economic activity on 63rd Street…
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Opinion: Call Me a Millennial Again, and I Will Summon the Pumpkin Lord
By Jacob Johnson Oct. 17, 2017 As a twenty-year-old living in this country, I am so fed up with being labeled as a “millennial.””. The term has grown to encapsulate everyone in my…
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Pope Francis and Bernie Sanders Team Up to Become Crime-Fighting Team
By Adam Lowinger May 2, 2016 FollowingAs a result of their brief meeting in the Vatican, in which the two discussed their shared ideology concerning globabl poverty, Pope Francis and Vermont Senator Bernie…
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If You Die in the Med, You Die in Real Life
By by Vice President for Safety and Security Marlon Lynch Dec. 30, 2014 Wow. I think something fucking crazy happened under the Reg once. I know your professors would never breathe a word…
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Pierce Students Remain While Deconstruction Begins
By Matthew Goldenberg Dec. 17, 2012 The University of Chicago began the first phase of its new North Campus plan this Thursday, commencing the demolition of Pierce Tower. Residents of Pierce will remain…
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Student Naming Rights Sold
By Thomas Noriega April 20, 2017 Student Naming Rights SoldBy Arley D. Cathey In an effort to defray mounting debts, the University announced that, effective immediately, the naming rights of all current students…
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Nobel Laureate Robert J. Zimmer, 1947-2056
By Willamina Groething, 2056 Jan. 24, 2016 Robert Jeffrey Zimmer, age 108, beloved husband of Shadi Bartsch, of Chicago, IL, died at home Tuesday September 26, 2056. The Nobel Peace Laureate was the…
