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Eight Helpful Tips for Couples Trying to Start a Family
By Evan Bernstein Feb. 1, 2015 BIRMINGHAM, 1898 – Children are miracles of life and they bring joy to the world. It’s no wonder they’re in such high demand. Everywhere you look it…
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Natural Explorations with Nigel Pennington: Dragons
By Nigel Pennington Feb. 4, 2013 Anno Domini 1161—Today, I’d like to talk about today’s hot animal-related topic: dragons. Everyone’s heard of them, nobody’s seen them, but everybody’s afraid of them. Well, there…
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Airline Passenger Detained For Possession of Lethal Weapon 4
By Reed Thurston May 15, 2017 Muslim Air Passenger Detained For Possession of Lethal Weapon 4 Amid the ongoing turbulence of public concern over the safety of air travel in the United States,…
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10 Vegetables I Want To Grow
By Ryan Fleishman Feb. 19, 2016 Tomato. The tomato is a wondrous red vegetable that can be used to make ketchup or marinara sauce.. A scientist once told me that the tomato is…
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Life of the Mined
By A Lump of Coal Nov. 13, 2014 The hardest part of being both a first year at the University of Chicago and a sentient lump of coal would have to be adjusting…
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Entire Class of 2016 Drowns
By Walker King Oct. 21, 2012 Tragedy struck the University of Chicago last week when the entire class of 2016 drowned in a series of freak accidents across the Chicago area. School officials…
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Bill Clinton Would Like to Remind Populace He Only Had to Lie Once to Be Put on Trial
By Adam Lowinger Feb. 26, 2017 Bill Clinton Would Like to Remind Populace He Only Had to Lie Once to Be Put on TrialBy Adam LowingerConsidering the recent scandals and controversies surrounding the…
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Tips to Spice Up Your Platonic Friend’s Sex Life
By Ryan Fleishman Jan. 4, 2016 Stock up on fun condoms. Your friend will appreciate the special twist on their sex life when you surprise them with a Trojan Fire & Ice Ultra-Thin…
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Student Health Warns of New, Highly Addictive “Positive” Attitude
By Alexander Dunlap April 20, 2014 The University’s Student Health and Counseling Service has issued a warning to students and administrators about a harmful and highly addictive attitude reported to be on the…
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Four Freakish Stress-Induced Bodily Phenomena You Will Experience at This School
By Ella Hester Sept. 24, 2018 Chronic “Gym Bro” Syndrome Some experts say that exercise is an incredibly efficient stress reliever. But they weren’t conducting their studies here in The Upside Down!…
