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Discovered: Office Memos Between DOJ District Attorneys and Jeff Sessions
By Nico Aldape March 11, 2017 Memo from DOJ District Attorneys to AG Jeff Sessions: Why Don’t You Resign? Dear Attorney General: Let’s just get straight to the point. I don’t want to dilly-dally…
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Letter to the Editor
By John F. Kennedy, April 5, 1962 Jan. 18, 2016 To my dear, sweet beloved, Throughout my short presidency, I have been no stranger to clandestine affairs, from the espionage of the Cuban…
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Christie’s Take from Internship Auction Tops Expectations
By Anna Newport April 20, 2014 Anxious parents flooded Christie’s on Thursday as the auction house staged its first internship bidding war. With record high numbers of applicants for Christie’s 2013 unpaid internship…
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Bartlett Rats Strike, Citing Declining Quality of Food
By Cameron Edgington Nov. 2, 2018 As autumn descends upon us and temperatures lower across the nation, animals of all shapes and sizes seek warmth and cover, collecting enough food to last…
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No, I’m Not a Fuccboi; Yes, I’m Sleeping with Both Girls in My SOSC Class
By Liam Coles Jan. 17, 2017 Recently, I had an experience, which I found not only wildly offensive but also frankly inaccurate. My good friend David and I were hanging out, and I…
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Blackouts End as Gentrification Begins
By Grace Quigley Nov. 2, 2015 DETROIT– Economists and demographers have noted a distinct negative correlation between blackouts and gentrification in certain neighborhoods here following the Great Recession of 2008. .In the turmoil…
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Second Year Wins IOP by Caressing David Alexrod’s Calf
By Alex Foster Nov. 9, 2013 Vyom Khan, a second-year in the College, was declared winner of the Institute of Politics on Tuesday when he successfully caressed David Axelrod’scalf during that afternoon’s Fellows…
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Curveball! MAB Announces a Two-Hour Phone Call with Your Disappointed Parents Will Headline Summer Breeze!
By Dealer News Desk April 25, 2018 Summer Breeze In a surprise twist, UChicago’s Major Activities Board has announced that its annual Summer Breeze Concert will be headlined by a two-hour phone call…
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Complaint: My U-Pass is Stuck in My Vagina
By Milena Pross Oct. 13, 2016 Last year, campus was torn apart by a divisive and polarizing referendum. Critics have referred to it as “Pre-Brexit Brexit” and “The War Between the States Between…
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Michelle Obama Releases Pack of Dogs to Chase Obese Children
By Ryan Fleishman May 26, 2015 Last Tuesday, as the final phase in her Let’s Move! program to promote health and fitness among American youth, First Lady Michelle Obama officially released a large…
