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Campus Casualties Escalate in War on Christmas
By Rahul Gupta Dec. 5, 2018 Dozens of students were sent to the University of Chicago hospital after a heated debate over the holiday season exploded into yet another battle in the global…
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Shitty Club Gets RSO Status, Calls Itself the Shady Dealer
By David North, 2004 Feb. 3, 2017 2004– One month ago, applications went live for new campus organizations to vieye for official registration with the University. Along with this status comes tax exemption,…
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Kasparov Kills Horse
By Daniel Ruttenberg Nov. 19, 2015 At his presentation at International House on Thursday November 12, many attendees were shocked to see Garry Kasparov slaughter a horse onstage. Moments after his introduction, Kasparov…
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Rogue Stressbuster Won’t Stop Giving Backrubs
By Becky Stoner Feb. 22, 2014 “At Stressbusters, we’re all about the Wind-down Wednesdays. But this kid? He’s aggressively expanded into Tranquility Tuesdays, Moderation Mondays, Stressbuster Sundays, Stressbuster Saturdays, Feet-Up Fridays, and of…
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Admin Accuses GSU of Taking Free Speech Too Far
By Breck Radulovic and Dan Lastres Oct. 20, 2017 After years of successfully stymying grad students’ efforts to unionize, the administration was dealt a shocking defeat. Graduate students at the University of…
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Bookstore Adds Hard Liquor to School Supply Section
By Oliva Reeves Nov. 2, 2018 Following numerous requests from students doing last-minute back-to-school shopping, the UChicago Bookstore announced this week that it will add a selection of liquor to its already-expansive merchandise collection. …
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Rat Poison: Not Just for Cutting Cocaine!
By Native Advertising Jan. 17, 2017 Seth Blattstein, a spokesman for SteptON, the world’s leading manufacturer of rat poison, has announced this Friday that, while he is aware that the main use of…
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Point/Counterpoint: Sports are Obnoxious
By Nico Aldape Nov. 11, 2015 I quite honestly think sports culture is obnoxious. Major sports just capitalize on hyper-masculinity (except basketball and soccer, which capitalize on flopping and pretending to be injured).…
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An Arbitrary And Meaningless Ranking Of Colleges
By Dan Brier Dec. 29, 2013 10. Dennis’s Friendly College 9. Yale University 8. Harvey Mudd College 7. The Sparxxx School at Cowhands’ Pass 6. University of Chicago 5. Oklahoma State University School…
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Uh Oh! That Kid Just Made a Good Point for Once
By Noah Goodman May 25, 2018 THURSDAY 2:00 pm — It appeared to be a typical day in Professor Jones’s section of Self, Culture, and Society. Half the class hadn’t done their reading,…
