By Maya Handa and Becky Stoner April 23, 2013 Hopes Dreams Hearts Livers Everything on this list that is not also a sandwich Paninis The old USPS building Economic activity on 63rd Street…

By Jacob Johnson Oct. 17, 2017 As a twenty-year-old living in this country, I am so fed up with being labeled as a “millennial.””. The term has grown to encapsulate everyone in my…

By Adam Lowinger May 2, 2016 FollowingAs a result of their brief meeting in the Vatican, in which the two discussed their shared ideology concerning globabl poverty, Pope Francis and Vermont Senator Bernie…

By by Vice President for Safety and Security Marlon Lynch Dec. 30, 2014 Wow. I think something fucking crazy happened under the Reg once. I know your professors would never breathe a word…

By Matthew Goldenberg Dec. 17, 2012 The University of Chicago began the first phase of its new North Campus plan this Thursday, commencing the demolition of Pierce Tower. Residents of Pierce will remain…

By Thomas Noriega April 20, 2017 Student Naming Rights SoldBy Arley D. Cathey In an effort to defray mounting debts, the University announced that, effective immediately, the naming rights of all current students…

By Willamina Groething, 2056 Jan. 24, 2016 Robert Jeffrey Zimmer, age 108, beloved husband of Shadi Bartsch, of Chicago, IL, died at home Tuesday September 26, 2056. The Nobel Peace Laureate was the…

By Evan Bernstein Oct. 21, 2014 A Chicago Shady Dealer exclusive investigation has revealed that the beloved Halloween treat is neither candy nor corn. The classic late-October treat was exposed as an outright…

By Nico Aldape Dec. 5, 2018 “Y’all young, broke twenty-somethings are coming into our town and stealing the jobs from all us older broke twenty-somethings,” said District of Columbia resident Sydney Pulisic. “Fuck all of you.”  Pulisic…

By Ryan Fleishman, 2008 Feb. 5, 2017 I Should Really Get Into This Housing MarketAfter saving every extra penny I could make over the last 40 years of my life, I believe it…