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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life

The Three Sub-Schools of UChicago

March 28, 2026 /

By Judge M. Ental

Read It and Weep

The Three Sub-Schools of UChicago
Bowls of Adderall Labeled “Don’t Do It ;)” Found Across Campus
Trump creates “Random Gender Generator” to replace X markers on passports
Point: I would love you if you turned into a worm/Counterpoint: I would not love you if you turned into a worm
Top Five Foods to Try… Er, Tables to Visit at the Study Abroad Fair
Alphabet Ct De to Bdget Crisis
Deal of the Century! “Functional Government” Listed on Black Friday Sale for $54.99
Join Singe
Wet Socks Make Students More Productive, Says Designer of the Sidewalk Outside Cobb Hall
Trans Fats Banned a Second Time for Being Woke

Chicago Shady Dealer

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