Wilhelm Crashenblimpen Appointed Captain Of The Hindenburg

March 10th, 1936

FRANKFURT—Lieutenant Captain Wilhelm Crashenblimpen has been named captain for the inaugural flight of the new Hindenburg zeppelin. In a ceremony this Tuesday, Captain Crashenblimpen was officially named the vessel’s commanding officer.

“Zis is zee greatest honor a man can be given,” said Crashenblimpen, “I am compliment zat zis vill not be an ironic coincidence years on.” Prior to his current job, Crashenblimpen worked as a balloon salesman, though was curiously unable to keep his wares from popping. The German government has provided the following list of officers for the Hindenburg’s maiden voyage.

First Mate: Heinrich von Hydrogengasleak

Purser: Otto Boomblamkablowcrash

Engineer: Karl Worldhistoricaldisastersynonymouswithfailureforyearsafter