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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    We Know a Lot of Words, but None of Them are “Black Lives Matter”, Apparently

    University of Chicago Administration / June 2, 2020

    Hi there! We’re the sentient ghouls of Levi Hall. You might remember us as the minds behind all-time-great administrative emails like “No we won’t lower tuition”, “Something about Thucydides”, and “Here is a…

    read more

Read It and Weep

  • Maroon Wins Pulitzer Prize for “Courageous” Reporting on Reg Bathroom Closure
  • Odyssey Scholars Program replaced by David Rubenstein Sugar Baby Program
  • An Open Letter to My Professors: If Congress Can Take a Vacation When They Have Work to Do, Why Can’t I?
  • Point: Dining halls should strive to incorporate healthier cereals. Counterpoint: You can pry the Lucky Charms out of my cold, dead hands, bitch!
  • President Trump Declared Dead after Not Posting on Truth Social for 5 Seconds
  • Sorry! The Required Class for Your Major is Only Available to Fourth-Years with at Least Two Dead Parents.
  • Millions of Souls Stuck in Limbo as Heaven Undergoes Maintenance
  • Viktor Orbán Wins Bid for USG President
  • We Should Do This Thing, Says Guy Who Just Doesn’t Fucking Get It
  • Woodlawn to host a bake sale to raise money for new carpet! Cupcakes $20,000 each

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