Karl Marx Mistaken for Marx Brother, to Star in Duck Soup
LOS ANGELES, 1933—Paramount Studios announced that the Marx Brothers’ new film, Duck Soup, will begin production soon. However, owing to an administrative error in the contract-signing stage, Paramount accidentally signed a contract with one Karl Marx, meaning the film will now star five “brothers.”
Asked for comment, Marx – famed communist theorist – opined on contract theory: “I was unaware of this contract situation. When I was approached, I thought it would be an excellent opportunity to re-introduce my ideas to the American people. It struck me as odd that the ‘brothers’ do not belong to a united workers’ coalition. I suppose they must be trying to ape the prestige of the bourgeoisie, above the stature of their proletarian comrades.”
Marx weighed in on the plot of the film, in which the fictional country of Freedonia engages in patriotic conflict due to supreme incompetence. Marx agreed with his comrades as to the point of the film: “Apparently, we are demonstrating what happens when poor leadership and authoritarians take power. Perhaps what should happen at the end of the film is a revolution. The down-trodden common people rise up to dethrone their filthy, scheming, grasping, exploitative leaders.”
The Dealer investigated the terms of Marx’s contract, which he insisted he was unable to read prior to signing. In it, Marx received a lump-sum payment without stipulations. However, Marx claimed he was re-negotiating: “I must share the payment with my fellow workers in production. It is unfair that I would receive richer recompense for my labor than the people behind the camera. We must organize and band together to make sure Paramount is equitable.”
Marx appealed to the workers themselves, members of the AFL union: “I am most pleased to see my comrades unite. We workers shall be strong in the fight against corporations who seek to alienate us further from our labor. Soon, we will own the means of production.”
The workers, upon listening to Marx, declined this arrangement. “What are you, a fucking communist?”
Much to Marx’s chagrin, the film is not halting production amid his one-person worker’s “strike.” Unlike the rest of the cast, Marx was pro-tarrying-it.
