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Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Masthead

Editors in Chief

Griffin Bonnin Jones, Andrea Zhou

Managing Editor

Katherine Reynolds

Deputy Managing Editor

Vivian Psylos

Layout Editor

Justin Bilenker

Photo Editor

Zayna Cheema

Copy Editors

Nik Ochoa, Chase Teichholz

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected].

Campus Life

The Three Sub-Schools of UChicago

March 28, 2026 /

Judge M. Ental

+ postsBio

By Judge M. Ental

Read It and Weep

Trump Vows War to Last No More than 6 Weeks/5 Minutes/17 Years
Get Your my.UChicago Data Off the Dark Web in Five Easy Steps
Twelve Ways to React When Someone Says Something You Disagree With in Class
Analyzing Melina Hale’s Welcome Video for Avant-Garde Sensibilities
It’s Springtime! Flowers to Sniff, Poke, and Potentially Buy
Duo Authentication Requires New Blood, Urine, and STD Test Sample to Verify Identity; Most People Fail
Maroon Wins Pulitzer Prize for “Courageous” Reporting on Reg Bathroom Closure
Odyssey Scholars Program replaced by David Rubenstein Sugar Baby Program
An Open Letter to My Professors: If Congress Can Take a Vacation When They Have Work to Do, Why Can’t I?
Point: Dining halls should strive to incorporate healthier cereals. Counterpoint: You can pry the Lucky Charms out of my cold, dead hands, bitch!

Chicago Shady Dealer

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