Disgusting Mouse Cartoon Repulses Nation

November 18, 1928 

NEW YORK – The new cartoon Steamboat Willie has left an entire nation disgusted and appalled by its grotesque mouse protagonist.

The mouse, who goes by the name “Mickey,” is sure to repulse any morally reputable filmgoer with his gross little mouse-man hands and his enormous saucer-like ears, which swivel with nauseating rapidity with every turn of his head. His ribald and impudent manner has already provoked fierce backlash from audiences, who have branded him a “verminous disciple of Lucifer” and “Doctor Moreau’s most lamentable creation.”

“I watched that motion picture a little over a week ago, and I haven’t been able to get a lick of sleep since,” said Arthur Crampwell, a cocaine salesman and father of four. “I know that he’s called Mickey–whether he’s Irish, I can’t tell you, but I can tell you that he is a wicked, revolting little animal. I hope if there’s a sequel we’ll get to see him break his neck in a mousetrap. That’d really put a smile on my face, I can tell you..”