Nothing Happens in Tiananmen Square

BEIJING — Nothing of particular note happened at Beijing’s Tiananmen Square. The Square, which was visited by a large and representative sample of observers, was widely thought to be a nice public space for citizens to safely spend their time, and that is still the case. However, as nice and pleasant and unproblematic as Tiananmen Square is, citizens are advised, for no reason at all, to avoid the Square for the time being.

On another unrelated note, General Secretary Zhao Ziyang has announced his retirement from the communist party and from public life as a whole. He has stated he will not reenter the political scene, and that Premier Li Peng was correct in his handling of the nothing that happened, and he is also right about most other things in general.

This year was a big year for nothing happening. Notably, nothing happened in Germany either, where the Berlin Wall is still standing strong.