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Oct. 12, 2016
First –year Jameson A. Delaney, who requested to be called by his stage name “Jay D- Lane”, is now releasing his first single, which is based on an experience during Family Weekend. When asked about this experience, Jay D-Lane would only respond in mumbles that I, the interviewing reporter, deciphered as the following:
“You know, I’m just doing this to rep the streets where I come from”, stated Jay D-Lane. “B’s be playing and sometimes you got to set them straight.”
After being asked where exactly did he he came ome from and how did this song this song “repped” his hometown, Jay D-Lane responded, “I thought we were here to talk about the music.; Tthis is getting too personal, dDawg.”
He began to tell the story of O-Week, during which when he “borrowed” took a 23 condoms from the Wallace hHouse lLounge, because he was going to be drowning in what he called “that Kitty Patty Wack”., but p Problems began to arise when he discovered that “Kitty Patty Wack” was harder to come by than first imagined. Soon bBy second week, he realized that he used exactly zero0 0 of his the borrowed condoms, which still lay in a pile on his desk next to his bottle of lube, also unused.
Jay D-Lane continued his story, saying saying that the real dilemma began when he received a phone call from Dr. Timothy A. Delaney, Ph.D, and Dr. Jane C. Delaney, MD. The Delaney family had called to inform their son that they would be coming to visit him their son for Family Weekend.
“Yeah, this is where the song comes in., I’m rapping about getting rid of the condoms. Can’t have my momma know I’m doing the dirt out here, ya know? I start the song off with… Actually, you want me to perform it for you?”, asked stated Jay.
Despite my numerous refusals to hear the song, Jay went on:
“One, two, I hid them in my shoe. What else can I do? Three, fFour, hid ‘em up under my door. You can’t find them no more… Five, sSix, I put them on my…”, rapped Jay D-Lane. These rhymes, which he claims were inspired by The Cat in the Hat, continued for another hour.
After finishing up his rap, Jay revealed that he did not succeed in hiding all the condoms because he left one on the dresser, just in case. This condom was later discovered by his mother Jane, who then proceeded to ignore its existence.
Jay’s rhymes led to a very interesting interview, one unlike any other. His song “Hide That Silly Willy” will be released the Tuesday of 6th week on his Soundcd Cloud., Bbe sure to pretend that you listened to it.
