Kamala Harris Fights Fire with Fire; Works at a Wendy’s

In response to former President Donald Trump cosplaying as a minimum wage McDonald’s worker, Vice President Kamala Harris has decided to cosplay as an equally minimum wage Wendy’s worker. On Sunday afternoon, Harris handed out SpongeBob meals to hungry children, who were disappointed to see that it was just a regular burger, even missing the key ingredient of pickles. Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Walz, the token white guy of the campaign and grill master of the day, also made burgers, commenting, “At least I don’t use charcoal. Jeez Louise, let’s Pop a Top.”

In response to the Democratic nominee’s photo opp, former President Trump rambled, “I don’t even understand why Kama-bla would do this. She doesn’t even like Wendy’s. Plus I had the good idea first, she’s just copying me like she wants to copy my wall. Everyone knows McDonald’s fries are better than Wendy’s.” The Republican nominee then continued his pretend play as the Secret Service workers continued to circle the building in their cars. They played rock-paper-scissors to decide who was forced to go to the drive-thru window. 

Wendy was unavailable for comment as she and Ronald McDonald were making out in the back closet by the piss bucket.