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Editors in Chief

Kelly Lo

R.E Stern

Managing Editor

Kate Kaplin

Deputy Managing Editor

Andre Dang

Layout Editor

Abby Beckler

Copy Editors

Jacob Halabe

Maisie Thompson

Merrin Seegers

Disclaimer

Did we hurt your feelings, or say something that “rings untrue” in your soft ears? Well you’re paying too much attention to what we said, and not enough attention to what we meant. God is God, the river is swift, and we don’t give a fuck.

Any complaints can be emailed to [email protected]

  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Breaking: Your New Student Government

    Kelly Tsing Sum Lo and 2 more / April 25, 2022

    The Student Government elections are over, and the Shady Dealer has the scoop on the winners! In other news, we got arrested for breaking into the office of the Elections and Rules committee,…

    read more
  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    The Bachelor Final Rose to Go to Living Windmill That Speaks Exclusively in Plane Puns

    Kelly Tsing Sum Lo / January 18, 2020

    Sources from ABC had claimed that the ending of The Bachelor would not be spoiled, but Reality Steve strikes again! The gossip blog has revealed that this season’s final rose will go to…

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  • Chicago Shady Dealer

    Thanksgiving Explained by an International Student

    Kelly Tsing Sum Lo / November 26, 2019

    So first they roast a turkey, right, and then sometimes they put other birds inside the turkey and roast those too, and they call it a turduckoose or a turchicken or something. And…

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Read It and Weep

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  • Wanna Feel Better About Politics? Donate to These 4 Inspirational Democrats Running in Districts They Have No Chance Whatsoever of Winning
  • Woodlawn Announces Intramural Cockfighting League to Boost House Culture
  • Pope Francis Considering a 2024 Bid for Dalai Lama
  • Why is the Trolley Problem On My Econ P-Set, and What Did Y’all Get?
  • MAB Bans Non-Black Concertgoers from Saying N-Word at Summer Breeze, Causes Stir
  • Breaking: Your New Student Government
  • Sexy Jesus & Apoptles Rumble Time!!!
  • Four Complaints I Would Have About UChi-Con – If I Went, Which I Definitely Didn’t
  • Op-Ed from an Autistic Person: Why I Am Elated That I No Longer Have to Practice Masking

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