Following his party\u2019s defeat in Hungary\u2019s parliamentary elections, former prime minister Viktor Orb\u00e1n decided to shift his attention to another electoral contest: this year\u2019s University of Chicago Student Government (USG) elections. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Launching his bid two weeks ago, Orb\u00e1n decided to run, citing the near non-existent turnout in previous USG elections. \u201cAfter realizing that when a lot of people voted, I would lose, I realized that I needed to find a place where the people cared so little that nobody voted.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Enter the USG Elections. Just two weeks later, Orb\u00e1n proclaimed victory at a massive rally in Hutchinson Commons. His campaign ordered catering for more than two hundred people, expecting his supporters to celebrate his overwhelming mandate. As Orb\u00e1n emerged from behind a curtain, he was met with the raucous applause of fourteen people, all of whom chanted \u201cCorbyn! Corbyn! Corbyn!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Orb\u00e1n began his speech by thanking God and those who believed in his campaign: \u201cI say to you all, the point of the future is that anything can happen. And you all have made this future.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When asked about how he defeated his opponents, Orb\u00e1n smiled. In unrelated news, the current USG leadership is currently drinking at the Pub and sending pleading emails to the administration in lieu of attending the school-sanctioned USG event. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Orb\u00e1n has promised to carry out his opponents\u2019 campaign promises, announcing new shuttles downtown sponsored by Boxer\u2019s Glue Works: each van will be marked with a horse logo. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Orb\u00e1n then looked around to see that the fourteen people had now become three, after the other eleven grabbed sandwiches and left.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was one of those eleven, a brave reporter covering the valuable process of democracy. The sandwiches were not great, but I have 165 of them leftover.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Launching his bid two weeks ago, Orb\u00e1n decided to run, citing the near non-existent turnout in previous USG elections. \u201cAfter realizing that when a lot of people voted, I would lose, I realized that I needed to find a place where the people cared so little that nobody voted.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2090,"featured_media":7614,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,2,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7613","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-campus-life","category-politics","category-world-affairs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7613","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2090"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7613"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7613\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7615,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7613\/revisions\/7615"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7614"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7613"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7613"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7613"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}