President Donald Trump has just announced a new plan to finalize his long-sought acquisition of Greenland. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMany people have told me, \u2018President Trump, you can\u2019t send our sons to capture some random icy land!\u2019\u201d Trump told a crowd at a rally on Wednesday. \u201c When I tell them, \u2018Yes, yes, I can!\u2019 they still say, \u2018No! No, you can\u2019t do that, stop, PLEASE! PLEASE!\u2019 So you know what? I\u2019m going to buy Greenland instead. This is glorious\u2013we\u2019re going to buy Greenland, set up a base there, and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Trump clarified that he plans on setting up a GoFundMe to crowdfund his purchase of Greenland from Denmark, asking for donations from all patriotic Americans. If Denmark refuses to sell its territory, the funds may be used to purchase enough votes of Greenlanders to force them to sell. Details about the last part are unclear (given the decision is presumably up to Denmark), but rumors indicate that the money will be used to purchase one year of whale meat supplies for every Greenlander who votes for American annexation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To encourage participation in the GoFundMe, the White House has announced that all donors will receive a free \u201cMake Greenland Great Again\u201d hat, exclusive access to Trump\u2019s Discord server, and one entry into a lottery for three Cybertrucks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So far, this initiative has received donations from 100,001 users. 100,000 of them came from an IP address near Yoshkar-Ola, Russia, and one came from a Greenlander who \u201creally wanted to get that hat.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If Denmark refuses to sell its territory, the funds may be used to purchase enough votes of Greenlanders to force them to sell. Details about the last part are unclear (given the decision is presumably up to Denmark), but rumors indicate that the money will be used to purchase one year of whale meat supplies\u00a0 for every Greenlander who votes for American annexation.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2090,"featured_media":7592,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-politics","category-world-affairs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7591","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2090"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7591"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7591\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7593,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7591\/revisions\/7593"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7591"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7591"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7591"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}