My roommate, Idee Kay, thinks that Anthony Bourdain and Jeffery Epstein are the same person. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I found this out accidentally. I was with my roommate in a thrift store\u2019s poster section. On sale was a poster of Anthony Bourdain. Idee was flabbergasted; they pointed at the poster, saying, \u201cWhat kind of place would sell a poster of a pedophile?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I replied, \u201cAnthony Bourdain was a pedophile?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
They looked just as confused as I did, asking me if I kept up with the news at all on the \u201cfiles.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2026The Files. What files did Anthony Bourdain have? The X-Files? The files for people who go to Quebec to visit three ice fishermen and chat about fine dining? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is how I learned that Idee lives in an alternate universe where all gray-haired, middle-aged men with opinions are actually just one extremely busy supervillain. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I tried to explain that Anthony Bourdain was, in fact, a chef and writer who was featured on television many times for things unrelated to sex trafficking. Idee nodded politely, the way you do when a BizCon major starts talking. Then they said, \u201cYeah, evil people rebrand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At this point, I pulled out my phone and showed Idee a photo of Epstein. Then I showed them Bourdain. Two different men. Two different lives. Two wildly different vibes. They squinted, leaned closer, and said, \u201cOkay, but have you ever seen them in the same room?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I reminded them that one of these men spent his life documenting food and culture while the other was the scum of the Earth. Idee countered with, \u201cThat\u2019s exactly what the media wants you to think.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
We left the store without the poster. Not because I didn\u2019t want it, but because Idee insisted owning it would \u201cput us on a list.\u201d Which list remains unclear. A government one? A culinary one? The mailing list for Parts Unknown<\/em>? (Which I was on back when it was cool\u2026) <\/p>\n\n\n\n I now live in fear of future revelations from Idee. Will Stanley Tucci be unmasked as a war criminal? Is Guy Fieri secretly three CEOs in a trench coat? If they decide Ruth Riechl is actually responsible for Watergate, I will have no choice but to move out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I tried to explain that Anthony Bourdain was, in fact, a chef and writer who was featured on television many times for things unrelated to sex trafficking. Idee nodded politely, the way you do when a BizCon major starts talking. Then they said, \u201cYeah, evil people rebrand.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2090,"featured_media":7543,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[18,2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7542"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2090"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7542"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7542\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7545,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7542\/revisions\/7545"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7543"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}