Amidst nprecedented inancial woes acing the English langage, the Alphabet will see three letters eliminated to save money: , , and .<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cTo pt it blntly, there is simply no other choice,\u201d said Secretary o Words Ginevere Norp at an emergency press conerence on Thrsday. \u201cIn absence o new asterity measres, the Alphabet wold be orced to sht down altogether by 2029.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The decision cased bitter controversy among the Alphabet\u2019s serbase. \u201cI\u2019ve been saying or years that we have to get serios abot conronting waste in the Alphabet,\u201d said Herman Sharp who has brown hair and lives in Cleveland. \u201cThis doesn\u2019t go ar enogh, qite rankly. I woldn\u2019t mind seeing hal the letters axed. Get rid o them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Many greeted the news with a mixtre o consion and nasea. \u201cI want me letters,\u201d said Marty the Pebble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Others were less diplomatic. \u201cck,\u201d said Rsla Owler, a bean-seller. \u201cck. ck. ck. Goddamn it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In a similar cost-saving measre, the Concil on Nmbers has annonced that the nmber 5 will be destroyed on Monday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
EDITOR\u2019S NOTE: An earlier version o this article incorrectly rendered the word \u201cenogh\u201d as \u201cen.\u201d We have since conslted a dictionary expert and are appallingly sorry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Amidst nprecedented inancial woes acing the English langage, the Alphabet will see three letters eliminated to save money: , , and .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2089,"featured_media":7488,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7487","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-issues","category-scientific-excellence"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7487","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2089"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7487"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7487\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7489,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7487\/revisions\/7489"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7488"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7487"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7487"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7487"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}