Everyone in the caf\u00e9\u2014baristas, people waiting behind you in line, and even the student pretending to do work on their laptop\u2014saw you press \u201cNo Tip\u201d on the iPad. So what do you do now? How do you escape this social disaster? We suggest the following strategies: <\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Justify<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Explain that you pressed \u201cNo Tip\u201d as a bold statement against the exploitation of workers at the hands of the bourgeoisie and the injustice of the wage system. Workers deserve fair salaries, not reliance on tips. Pump your fist in the air in solidarity and pray that the barista doesn\u2019t spit in your matcha latte. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Confusion<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat wasn\u2019t a performance review? I thought<\/em> I was selecting \u2018no tip\u2019 as in \u2018no tips needed,\u2019 you were fabulous!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Reverse the Blame<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n You spelled my name wrong on the cup! It\u2019s not Brittney, it\u2019s Brytnee. No, I don\u2019t think that\u2019s a reasonable mistake, actually. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Diversion<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Point at the door and scream, \u201cOH MY GOD, BEYONC\u00c9!?\u201d Then sprint for the nearest exit. Unfortunately, you will not receive your coffee. A worthy sacrifice. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Dispense Wisdom<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe the real tip is the friends we made along the way. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. Religious Awakening<\/strong> <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Explain that frugality is an essential step on the path to enlightenment. By not tipping, you are encouraging non-attachment to material possessions in order to achieve liberation of the spirit, thereby freeing the mind from greed and selfishness. Shavasana, baby. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cThat wasn\u2019t a performance review? I thought I was selecting \u2018no tip\u2019 as in \u2018no tips needed,\u2019 you were fabulous!\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2090,"featured_media":7446,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7445","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-internships-jobs-the-hard-reality-of-modern-capitalism","category-online-only"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7445","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2090"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7445"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7445\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7461,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7445\/revisions\/7461"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7446"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7445"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7445"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chicagoshadydealer.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7445"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}